Great Balls of Fire!

The details aren't necessary when all I hear is Jaycee scream "MAMA!!" Michael and I came running from our room to see what was going on. We could hear in her voice that something was up and even more so in Darren's when he yelled too. Our door, not even shut but maybe leaving a 6 inch gap before, flew open. All I can remember is I see Jaycee. Okay, just her face. Her body was swallowed in smoke and all I could see was her face, lit up, orange. The entire living room and kitchen was filled with black smoke. I grabbed Jaycee and Darren and brought them to the garage, the only place at that point that didn't have any smoke. Michael grabbed the pan, bad idea but the answer to the flames, opened the sliding door in the kitchen and threw the burning pan outside. And just then, all the smoke detectors went off, scaring the kids even more than they already were. A grease fire. Yep! It happened to us. And what is more ironic? My aunt Cindy, also a victim of a grease fire just over a year ago had sent me an email that same day, video included on what to do when you have a grease fire in your house. Let me tell you, although insightful, unrealistic. Your head goes a million miles an hour and from listening to the radio that same morning about survivors I remembered this: "a survivor doesn't have time to think, they just do." Now let me tell you, you bet I would have thought. I would have thought first, that something like that would never happen to us and second, that I would never grab a hot, burning pan. But Michael did. He didn't think, he just did. And thank god for that! Our microwave, or whats left of it (mostly melted plastic) can still tell time. Too bad it was needed for more that a time piece! haha. That is replaceable. All we can do is laugh about it now knowing that everyone was safe and besides tons of cleaning everything but the microwave is okay. -oh and Michael's arm hairs too. All I can see if Jaycee's face lit up from the flames and Darren screaming when the alarms went off. If it weren't for them, it may have been too late. Michael and I talked to both of the kids about what had happened. Darren was told he was a hero, and he gladly took on the title. When we talked to Jaycee about it, all she could say was "Fire care me, it care me." (translation: "the fire scared me, it scared me!") So sad, but so cute. Both "hero firefighters" were awarded with McDonald's for dinner partly for their good work and the rest because dinner was ruined. Man, what a night! Bad things happen in 3's and that made tres!

Release

I'm tired, its late, yet I feel like I needed to release some thoughts. My mind is reeling. I cant stop thinking about my family. I wish I could explain to them what exactly they mean to me. I am thankful for what I had, have and will have. I am appreciative of Lisa for the relay and her role as Sweden. For being the voice when I can not speak. For never taking a side, being there - an ear. I question myself and I question others. I appreciate genuine thoughts and suggestions. I want to describe my feelings but cant. My intentions are good but perceived differently. That doesn't change that my intentions ARE good. I am not a selfish person. This works to my advantage sometimes. Sometimes not. I am fair. I am genuine. I am willing. I will not be finagled. I will do whats best. Things happen for a reason-sometimes with out the answer to why? Everything makes sense-eventually. I am not a manipulator. I will make good decisions and never harm. For now, I am going to bed. Tomorrow, ?